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Decluttering for the holidays: How letting go brings emotional peace #128

• Caroline Thor - Professional Organizer - KonMari® Consultant

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Are you feeling the weight of holiday overwhelm creeping in? The endless tidying, organizing, and that mental load of trying to make everything "just right"?

If so, you’re not alone. As women, we’re often carrying the expectation to create the perfect holiday experience—for everyone else. But what if I told you that a clutter-free home isn’t just about having a neat space—it’s a path to emotional peace? ✨

In this week’s podcast episode, "Decluttering for the Holidays: How Letting Go Brings Emotional Peace," I'm diving into how simplifying and letting go can lift the weight of holiday stress. Imagine stepping into the festive season without the endless “shoulds” piling up. Can you picture celebrating with less clutter and more genuine joy?

You’ll learn:

  • Why decluttering is so much more than just tidying up—it’s freeing up your mind and reclaiming your energy.
  • How a few focused steps in your home, inspired by the KonMari Method, can clear not only physical clutter but also mental and emotional clutter.
  • Practical tips for a holiday that’s stress-free, joyful, and truly meaningful.

We all deserve a holiday season that feels as good as it looks—one where you can actually relax, without the pressure of perfection weighing you down.

Ready to find peace in letting go? Let’s make this holiday season one to remember—not for how perfect everything looks, but for how peaceful it feels.

Don't forget to let me know how you are getting on with the little task I set in this episode, either in my podcast Facebook group Living Clutter Free Forever  or on Instagram @caro.thor

I would LOVE to hear from you. Text Message me here.

Thanks for listening! For more organizational motivation, support and free resources:
Join my online membership Clutter Free Collective
Join my podcast Facebook group Living Clutter Free Forever Podcast: KonMari® Inspired Organizing | Facebook
Visit my website www.caroline-thor.com
Come and say 'hi' on Instagram @caro.thor
Follow me on Facebook @carolineorganizer

Speaker 1:

Hi there, I'm Caroline Thor, professional organiser, konmari consultant, teacher and mum of three. I started off my life as a mum feeling overwhelmed, disorganised and desperately trying to carve out some time for me amongst the nappies, chaos and clutter. One day, one small book called the Life-Changing Magic of Tidying changed everything and I began to learn strategies for making everyday life easier. Today, I have the systems in place that means life can throw almost anything at me, and I want to share them with you. If you're an overwhelmed mum struggling to keep it together, then this is the podcast for you. Grab a coffee and settle in for a quick chat with someone who gets your reality. Hello, and a really warm welcome back to the Living Clutter-Free Forever podcast.

Speaker 1:

I am so grateful to have you joining me today and, although it's only November, I'm going to be talking about the holiday season, because I just don't think we can start preparing early enough to make sure that we're feeling calm and can enjoy things when we eventually get there and if you're listening in the US, you've not got long until Thanksgiving now. So I thought this might be the perfect time to share some ideas for decluttering for the holidays and how letting go can bring you some emotional peace. So I'd like to start off by telling you about the ghost of Christmas past in my house. If we were having family to stay, which we regularly did when my kids were little I would go into this whirlwind of organising for the perfect holiday. And in my mind, the perfect holiday meant that the home looked perfect, that the table decorations looked perfect, that the tree looked perfect, that I'd got all the right gifts for everybody and they were wrapped beautifully, and that I had got a home that when you walked into it, everyone just was like wow, it looks really great here. I was putting all this pressure on myself for this perfect holiday and I'm not actually sure where I got all these ideas from. I think I've seen in films when I was little that the homes always looked totally beautiful at Christmas, and because everything looked beautiful, everyone was happy and had a great time, and I sort of attached that this material idea of things needing to be perfect and look perfect for us to be able to have a happy Christmas in our home as we celebrate it.

Speaker 1:

And it wasn't until I applied the KonMari method in my home and started holding onto only things that brought joy for me and letting go of things that didn't. I started to realise that I didn't find any joy in spending weeks in preparation hours preparing food which was going to be consumed in a matter of seconds, gifts, spending money on gifts and time and energy to get them, knowing full well they were probably just going to be unpacked and someone would say, oh, thank you, that's really, but they perhaps would never use it or it would get put in a drawer or they would re-gift it. So I let go of all this need for perfection and simplified everything. I simplified the food, I simplified the decorations. I simplified my need to clean so that you could practically eat off the floor. All of that I let go and I started buying ready-made food for some things and only making those things that I enjoyed making. I made sure to ask people to bring things with them if they were coming. I even had one Christmas where we had a lot of family members coming to stay with us and I asked them if they could bring their own bedding with them so that I wouldn't have to wash it afterwards. So we really did simplify everything and it has meant that I can now relax over the holiday season and enjoy things without having to worry what everyone's thinking and knowing that everyone's having a good time, regardless of how great the house looks and how amazing the gifts are and how perfect the table looks.

Speaker 1:

So let's just start with an overview, where I just want you to be clear that decluttering before the holidays isn't just about tidying up. It's a way to clear the mental and emotional clutter too, and by decluttering all of these things, it can help you approach the season with a sense of calm and joy. So what can you expect from this episode? We're going to talk about the mental benefits of letting go. We're going to talk about the mental benefits of letting go. We're going to talk about the decluttering of emotional shoulds and expectations. I'm going to give you some really practical tips for a clutter-free holiday season, and then, at the end, I'm going to give you a mini exercise that you can practice at home to start letting go now, so that, by the time the holiday season arrives, you're well practiced and you're not going to be holding on to anything that doesn't serve you. So let's kick off with the emotional benefits of letting go.

Speaker 1:

There is a huge connection between physical and mental clutter, and I've talked about this in previous episodes. The KonMari principle is that tidying our physical space is going to affect our mental clarity and our emotional wellbeing. We're trying to create a home that supports our ideal lifestyle and when we have our ideal lifestyle our mental health is going to be so, so much better. And very often the physical clutter is going to represent that emotional baggage that we're carrying around and by letting it go we're giving ourselves permission to release stress, and I don't think many of us realize how much stress we're holding inside all the time. I've shared many times that when I first applied the KonMari method in our home, my middle child at that point said to me why are you a nicer mummy now? Bit of a hard blow, but she was right. The stress had gone and that was the difference this overwhelm and inner stress that I had all the time had gone and it just made me a calmer and, as she said, a nicer mummy. So we hold on to things that can represent past memories, unfulfilled shoulds, our societal expectations even, and when we start to clear out these items, it gives us space for new and more positive energy. So I've already shared with you about my past Christmases, about my past Christmases, and I'm sure that there are some aspects of that that you can relate to, and I am now going to share with you how you can release this idea of a perfect holiday.

Speaker 1:

So we are under, as women, a lot of pressure to create the perfect holiday experience for everyone else. We're taking on the brunt of the planning, the decorating, the gift giving. I can't remember how many times my husband has said to me what are we giving my sister for Christmas this year? And I remember always thinking why is it down to me to decide what we're getting your sister for Christmas? I've got my sister to worry about, so we're taking on the brunt of all that.

Speaker 1:

And decluttering, in my view, is also about letting go of unrealistic expectations, not just physical items. So for me, an unrealistic expectation is that I am responsible for organising gifts for everybody in our family. The only person I don't organise a gift for is me, so it's a huge expectation that that is what you're going to do on top of all the other jobs that you have to do anyway the rest of the year and on top of your work. So one of the things that I've decluttered is when it comes to gift giving. We have really, really simplified that. So there's this idea of shoulds and deciding what actually matters.

Speaker 1:

So I would like you just to think for a minute about where your holiday expectations actually come from. Is it family tradition and you're trying to recreate that Like, perhaps, how your childhood was? I know that's partly, I think, what happened with me when my kids were little. Perhaps there's family pressure that everyone's coming to you and it needs to be a certain way. Or are you getting it from social media? Are you scrolling through Instagram or scrolling through Pinterest and seeing all these amazingly curated dining tables and beautifully decorated Christmas trees and you get this idea that yours should look like that? I would like you to really think about what actually brings you joy Of all the things that you do. What do you really enjoy doing? So let me give you an example.

Speaker 1:

When I first moved to Germany 19 years ago, my mother-in-law showed me how to bind a wreath like a door wreath, using leaves and branches, or it could be laid flat and you can put your four candles on and create the advent candle from it. I'd never learned in the UK how to do this, and it was something that she does every year for her and for neighbours, so she decided she was going to teach me how to do this, and for a few years I kept it up because I felt that I should. I felt that she had this expectation that I should be making my own Christmas wreath, that it was like a German tradition that I had to embrace, and I put a lot of pressure on myself to try and get it done in time for the first advent so that we had our advent candle ready and that we also had a wreath to hang on the door. And I didn't enjoy doing it at all because I had little kids. There was so much else going on and trying to find the time to bind all and it makes a mess. Oh my goodness, it makes a mess. So I really, really didn't enjoy it and I realised that it was something that didn't spark joy for me and I was trying to find time to do it and make myself do it.

Speaker 1:

And a few years ago I thought you know what? I have around the corner to me now the most beautiful florists. I'm going to go and buy an advent candle from them. Yes, it's expensive, but I can sit and look at it for four whole weeks and enjoy having it there, and it looks so much better than anything I can create, and so that's what I do now. I support my local shop and we have the most stunning looking advent candle and I haven't spent hours making it. That said, last weekend we cut the garden hedge and it's the sort of leaf that you would use for making an advent wreath, and I I suddenly said to my husband let's hang on to some of them.

Speaker 1:

I'm going to try making a wreath for the door this year because I want to, not because I have to or should, but because I really got the urge to do it this year. I thought it might be quite fun my sister-in-law's coming to stay at the weekend and I thought maybe it'd be a nice activity for us to do together and perhaps get the kids involved. That would spark joy for me, not trying to stick it into a busy day where I don't really have time to do it, but to make it a communal activity that we can have fun and all do together. That is going to spark joy for me, and so that's what I'm going to suggest that we do together this coming weekend. And so I have chosen which traditions spark joy for me and which ones don't, and I would highly recommend you doing the same and see if there are any that you can gently let go this season so that you can have a bit more joy and a bit less stress.

Speaker 1:

Now I have a practical tip for you, and this is something that I do all the time with people in my Clutter Free Collective membership. I would highly recommend you write down a list of all your holiday shoulds things you feel obligated to follow, things you feel obligated to do and then evaluate and see if each one sparks joy for you or if it can be released. When you actually have it written down on paper, it's so much easier to see immediately the things that you love doing. Focus on those first. Which in the list do you absolutely love doing and you would choose to do, even if it means you have to try and find the time for it? And then the other things are perhaps things that are shoulds that you can let go because you're only doing them because you feel obligated to.

Speaker 1:

Okay now practical tips for decluttering for the holidays. I would highly recommend, first of all, just focus on decluttering a few targeted key areas. So the kitchen, for example, so that meal prep is going to be easier. Perhaps the living room if you're going to have guests coming into there, and maybe storage areas where you've got decorations and seasonal items. If you have a guest bedroom because you've got people coming to stay, then that would also be a great place to perhaps have a little bit of a declutter and tidy up between now and then. You have got the time now to work out what you can do in little stages. Every time you find you've got 10 minutes or you find yourself scrolling through Instagram, say to yourself, oh, I could go and declutter a drawer or I could go and clear stuff off the guest bed and find the homes for it. So try and declutter just key areas, and I would really recommend that you set aside a little bit of time each week between now and the holiday season to work on one key area each week and then by the time you get there, you'll have done it all and this is going to set the tone for a stress-free holiday and it's going to create this sense of readiness and, believe me, that creates so much peace.

Speaker 1:

You could also declutter holiday decorations as you put them up. So if you're getting things out of boxes and you realize you've got decorations that are no longer relevant and that you would never choose to put up anymore. Don't hang on to them. Now's a brilliant time to donate them, because other people are going to be able to use them, and try to focus on meaningful decorations that spark joy. When you put them up, you absolutely love looking at them. Okay, I would love for you to just do a short visualization exercise. For me, this is like just a little mini exercise for letting go, if you're able to.

Speaker 1:

If you're not driving at the moment, then either try and sit still or stand still for a second and just close your eyes, and I would like you to imagine your ideal holiday space, your ideal holiday space. I would like you to imagine walking through your front door and walking into your living room, or perhaps into your kitchen. How would you like it to look? And I would like you to mentally let go of items or expectations that then don't fit that vision. So, as you walk into your living room, where, if you have a tree, will the tree be? What are the decorations going to look like? If you have a sofa, how is the sofa going to be looking? Is it going to be clear or are there going to be piles of stuff on it. The same for the coffee table. How's that looking? Is that going to be relatively cleared, with perhaps just a decoration in the middle so you've got room to put down drinks and snacks and things when people come over? If you've got a dining room table, just try and visualise what that's going to look like. Maybe you're visualising less decoration than you normally have. I have seriously reduced the amount of decorations I use and it makes life so so much easier. Easier, and we absolutely love now all the ones that we put up.

Speaker 1:

Now imagine going into your kitchen. Are the work surfaces clear so that you can just bake Christmas cookies, if you want to bake Christmas cookies, if you want to? If you open your fridge, is it organised so you can find the things that you need for doing the baking and cooking that's coming up? And if you open your kitchen cupboards, how are they looking? Is everything rammed in and you have to pull everything out to find the item you need, or are things organised according to category and easy to get hold of?

Speaker 1:

So after this podcast episode, it perhaps would be a really good idea just to sit quietly and just do that visualization. Imagine yourself walking through and just mentally let go of expectations or items that do not fit your vision. If you're someone that journals, a really simple journaling prompt you can use would be what can I let go of to make this holiday season feel peaceful? As simple as that. What can I let go of to make this holiday season more peaceful? Go off to make this holiday season more peaceful, and this could be physical items or stressors. It could be parties that you always feel you have to go to, that actually you don't enjoy, so self-imposed obligations. What can I let go of to make this holiday season feel peaceful? So I hope that you can see how, by letting go, you can create a more peaceful and meaningful holiday. I would love you to start small by perhaps letting go of one item every day. This could be a physical item or a should or expectation, or a bit of holiday perfectionism. What could you let go of each day as we go through between now and the holiday season, so that, by the time the holiday season arrives, you're feeling much more calmer and in control of things?

Speaker 1:

I would love for you to share your thoughts or progress with me on social media. On Instagram, I'm at carothor and there you can send me a DM and let me know how you're getting on. You can even send me photos, if you'd like to, of things you're letting go. That would be really fun. I could then share them in my stories, or you can join my free Facebook community, which is just for people that listen to this podcast.

Speaker 1:

We're going to be doing some really fun things in the lead up to the holiday season, so the link to join that is in the show notes, and I would love to see you there. So don't forget to share your wins with me, your holiday decluttering wins. Let me know either in the Facebook group or at Instagram, and I look forward to hearing how you're getting on. Until next time, if you've enjoyed this episode, please send the link to a friend you know would appreciate it, subscribe and leave a review. I look forward to bringing you more organising tips next time, but you can't wait until then. You can go to my website or find me on Instagram, at carothor, or on Facebook at Caroline Organiser. Thanks for listening and I look forward to guiding you on your journey to find your clutter-free ever after.