Living Clutter Free Forever - decluttering tips, professional organizing, minimalist living

How to stay organized with ADHD: 5 ADHD home organization tips that work (with ADHD advocate Katie Sue) #125

• Caroline Thor - Professional Organizer - KonMari® Consultant

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How do you keep a house tidy with ADHD?

If you’re dealing with constant clutter, overwhelm, and the struggle to keep your home in check, I get it. It’s a challenge for anyone—but add ADHD into the mix, and things can feel downright impossible.

But here’s the thing: It’s NOT. You can have a tidy, organized home—without losing your sanity. And this week, I’m breaking down 5 simple strategies that actually work, plus some amazing insights from the incredible Katie Sue, ADHD Advocate.

Ever wondered why tidying with ADHD feels so hard? Or how to stop feeling like you’re always swimming against the current when it comes to keeping your home organized? We’re diving into all of it.

In this episode, we talk about real, actionable steps you can take to tackle the chaos—from decluttering to creating systems that stick. Plus, we bring in the magic of the KonMari Method for a completely different approach to your home and your stuff.

It’s ADHD Awareness Month, and this is the perfect time to get the tools you need to reclaim your space and your peace of mind. Whether it’s you or a family member managing ADHD, these strategies will help you build a system that works for everyone in the house.

Stop feeling overwhelmed by the mess. Get organized, find your flow, and make it happen.

🔊 Listen now to get started on your clutter-free journey!

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Speaker 1:

Hi there, I'm Caroline Thor, professional organiser, konmari consultant, teacher and mum of three. I started off my life as a mum feeling overwhelmed, disorganised and desperately trying to carve out some time for me amongst the nappies, chaos and clutter. One day, one small book called the Life-Changing Magic of Tidying changed everything and I began to learn strategies for making everyday life easier. Today, I have the systems in place that means life can throw almost anything at me, and I want to share them with you. If you're an overwhelmed mum struggling to keep it together, then this is the podcast for you. Grab a coffee and settle in for a quick chat with someone who gets your reality. Hello, and welcome back to this extra special episode of the Living Clutter-Free Forever podcast.

Speaker 1:

Now, you may not be aware, but this month of October is International ADHD Awareness Month, and back in May 2023, I recorded episode 51 of my podcast with the amazing Katie Sue, who is an ADHD advocate. If you are on Instagram, you may well have seen her posts about ADHD. They are absolutely spectacular and this episode was so, so popular at the time. But it was long and I thought I'm going to take it and cut it up and give you all the best bits from that episode in honor of ADHD Awareness Month.

Speaker 1:

Those of you who listen to this podcast regularly will know that I have two kids who have an ADHD diagnosis, one who also has an autism diagnosis, and so I've had to become very aware over the years of how I word things, how I set things up for success for them, and it's also the same for a lot of my clients. It is amazing how many of my clients have an ADHD diagnosis or suspect that they have ADHD, because their kids do. So this episode is going to give you a little bit of an insight into what ADHD is, how, especially for kids, it can be a real struggle, especially when you've not been diagnosed, and then I'm going to pick out the key strategies that Katie and I talked about in that previous episode, and I know you will find lots of things that are going to help you, whether you have an ADHD diagnosis or not, or if you have kids that do. I know that this is going to be super, super valuable, so let's start at a point where I ask Katie to explain what ADHD is.

Speaker 2:

Well, you know, it's a spectrum. Everyone's so different. There are three types of ADHD. There's hyperactive, inattentive and combined, which is what I am. I'm combined, I'm extra fun, I'm a little bit of both. So I'm not exactly a hundred percent hyperactive and I'm not a hundred percent inattentive. I kind of slide back and forth between the two parts of my life seem very hyperactive and then parts of my life seem very inattentive, and so I check, kind of, instead of checking half or one side of the boxes, I am very lucky to check almost all the boxes that have to do with with ADHD, and so it is. It's really it's been really fun and I'm excited, lucky to check almost all the boxes that have to do with ADHD, and so it's been really fun. And I'm excited to hear that you are kind of in your own journey of that hyper focus of learning about what ADHD is and how it impacts us and our lives and our children's lives and stuff.

Speaker 2:

And because I'm late diagnosed, I think you mentioned about people who are learning about ADHD. They're often learning, they're learning in their own way of finding out that maybe their child has ADHD and they go to the doctor and they start to get supports to help their child. And all of a sudden they start talking about family history and the doctor starts asking you questions and you start going, oh man, I am, I'm checking more of these boxes than I think I expected. And so then, that's when, you know, a lot of parents reach out to me. They say, you know, I have a child that was recently diagnosed with ADHD and turns out, um, I think they got it from me because it's extremely, you know, hereditary. And a lot of times we do get it from our moms.

Speaker 2:

And so, I think, you know, because women are less likely to get diagnosed, especially later on in life, you know, in the past maybe three years, because more women are becoming doctors or because of social media, there is kind of this like draw more people are talking about it and learning about it and sharing their experiences and there's more awareness and acceptance around it that I think people, maybe the stigma is gone or maybe are more open-minded. But we're starting to realize, like, how many things are related to ADHD and where we probably needed support much earlier on and have kind of fought our way through life and made our own tools to support ourselves and then later we find out. Oh wow, I have an actual neurodiversity. I have something. My brain is just wired differently, and so all of those struggles that I've had my whole life are wondered like what is that? Why do I do this so differently? Or why is this so challenging for me? You finally get that piece of the puzzle. That's like oh, it was.

Speaker 1:

ADHD. You know Now it is very common that people with ADHD struggle with organization and would describe themselves as messy. In this part of the interview, katie was telling me about organization and how it's been in her life.

Speaker 2:

I've been messy my whole life. I've been disorganized, and not only disorganized with, like physical objects, but almost disorganized in my thoughts. Disorganization takes on so many different parts of your life and I could just see that throughout, and I'm thinking about in school and you know, my backpack and my desk always looked like a complete mess and there's a lot of things that have to do with having a hard time keeping track of time and, like I said, I am very disorganized. But for something that I felt like was really, really important and I put a lot of pressure on myself, I made myself extremely organized and I had, you know, highlighters and post-it notes and all those things on paper.

Speaker 1:

It's become more common in recent years for people to start getting a diagnosis, but in the past and there are still a lot of children now diagnoses weren't really happening, and Katie shared with me what her childhood was like and how she thinks it is for kids when they don't get the support they need.

Speaker 2:

But I didn't actually get any real support besides like you need to do this and you need to change and this is how you're supposed to do it, and so I think that's kind of like when grief starts.

Speaker 2:

you know those stages of grief where you're like, oh my gosh, I was a child and I was really let down and I wasn't really getting the support I needed from the adults that were supposed to help me. And so there is. I try to warn people after you come through with the awareness and acceptance of it and you're kind of excited. You know, there are some things that come up where you start to kind of realize like the things in your life that you really did need support on, you were trying to put yourself like if you're a star shaped block and you're trying to shove yourself into a circle hole. It's not going to work.

Speaker 2:

But our whole lives we're trying. We're taking our pretty little pointy corners and we're squishing them down and putting them and trying to shove yourself in a hole, and you've been doing that your whole life. It's really frustrating to go like oh no, I was trying to do things like neurotypical and, like you've said, like kind of this thing of like you're, you're like the most disorganized organizer person ever. It's kind of that thing of like. Yeah, because neurotypical solutions don't work for neurodivergent people. It just doesn't work, and so you have to kind of develop tools to help yourself, and in fact, I have.

Speaker 1:

I have set up the tools and I very often will say that the KonMari method, which is the method of organizing that I used. It literally saved me when my kids were little. I thought I was going crazy. I was feeling so overwhelmed. But applying this method and sticking to it rigidly has really helped me learn how I need to organize in order for it to work for me. That doesn't mean to say it's going to work for everybody, but for me it definitely helped, and I have things like I'll spend five minutes every evening just going around picking up and putting things away, Although this evening I've noticed my husband walking up to me with things I've left lying around the house, going where does this need to go back to, and then he'll do it, and then he'll come back and go and where should this be, and yeah, so he's a great support in that respect as well.

Speaker 1:

Without him we'd probably still be slightly in chaos. But I have to quote you on one of your posts here. I loved this one. So this is my book. That saves me as well. I write everything down.

Speaker 2:

I love that?

Speaker 1:

Yes, I have a book. It goes everywhere with me. So this was one of your captions and you'd shown a picture of your kitchen with the cupboard doors open, the cabinet doors open, and your caption was anyone else have a haunted house? My ghost loves to leave open cupboards and turn on lights, but doesn't touch the pot that's been soaking in the sink for three days gold, I love that, katie. And then I had a look through all the comments that people had written and and people were commenting, and there were things like yeah, my ghost is always hiding my keys in my phone. That's me.

Speaker 1:

Um, folded laundry's been in the basket for two weeks a week is my maximum, but I don't put it away when it should be. Empties the bathroom drawers and leave products everywhere. That's me. Hiding stuff under piles that's me, too. And so it goes on, and so I just thought it was absolutely brilliant, because, at the end of the day, we all do this, even people that aren't on the spectrum in any way, shape or form. So having those tools to support you is so, so important. And I asked Katie next what strategies she's found that have really helped her.

Speaker 2:

You know, similar to you is I have an amazing partner. I I really do. I have such a fantastic partner who really does help me a lot. When it comes to those, I like to call them like the last leg.

Speaker 2:

I'm very great at sometimes not all the time but starting something and getting about 90% done and just losing momentum, losing interest, losing anything. I'm distracted by something new and shiny. You know, it's one of those things where I could fold the laundry and put it away, or I could paint half of my bathroom, because that sounds like more fun. I really should just do something completely random. But the one thing I like to encourage people with ADHD is find something that works for you right now and embrace that. If something is working for you right now, or if something works for you for three weeks, take that as a win, because it's always good to try something new.

Speaker 2:

And I love the timer method of setting a timer for five minutes and just doing as much as you can for five minutes Make a playlist, put on your favorite music and just try to dance. I love listening to podcasts while I clean or while I'm cooking. That seems to make time go by faster and I can kind of trick myself into enveloping in that world and distracting myself from like the pots. You know, the pots and the sink. Let's face it, it's boring. You have to make it unboring.

Speaker 2:

One of my favorite things someone said recently is find like old folk music that's kind of themed around the 1800s and pretend you're like a barmaid in the 1800s cleaning your bar up and you're like. You know that's like. One of my favorite things right now is just just like literally cosplay being a cleaner, more organized person and try to trick yourself into doing it. We do the outfit as well. Katie, I would encourage any type of cosplay with an outfit. Get the apron, get the you know the little head bandana in the hair you know all of that I definitely encourage that.

Speaker 2:

It's like you have to really distract yourself to make yourself enjoy those little things, or forget that you're doing them because those those little tasks that are so mundane, it's so funny how the little things that take five minutes. Like you know, you folded all the laundry but putting it away it'll sit on my couch for for weeks and I'll just keep grabbing the piles and moving them around my house instead of actually just grabbing them and putting them away. And so I, like I said, I really do struggle with that second half, the last leg. It's like I feel like I just can't make it to the end and there are a lot of strategies that I just have to embrace. What works for me, whether it's cosplaying a barmaid from the 1800s or if it's challenging myself. I love to challenge myself. What can I get done in this amount of time? But as far as organization goes, one thing I really like and that I got from TikTok is that, you know, we people with ADHD often have something where it's out of sight, out of mind, and that's something I really struggle with is that if I can't see it, it doesn't really exist, it doesn't impact me and I don't think people understand that it's not this like gnawing thing in the back of my mind that I need to do something. If it's out of sight, it's really out of mind, and then it almost. Even if it's not, if something becomes part of my environment for too long, I almost forget it's there, and so that pile of clothes I've almost gotten used to being there and so they're not really disrupting my environment and they're not really bugging me. So I they almost just like camouflage and like blend in which I feel like might be really hard for for some neurotypicals to understand, because I think when, when my partner walks by them, it's probably bugging him. You know to see that, and so that's one thing. And other thing is yeah, like clear containers. Anything like my pantry right now is like open pantry. I think that kind of helps me. It's not always the prettiest thing, but if you have a problem with closing your cabinet doors, maybe get rid of your cabinet doors, get rid of them all together and then you might, because you're seeing them all the time and you're seeing your cups and you're seeing your seasonings.

Speaker 2:

That's one thing I also struggle with is I love to cook. I really enjoy it. It's one of those things that, like I said, I put on a podcast and I just kind of do my own thing. I'm like a witch in the kitchen and I'm making potions and I'm using all these different seasonings and I'm really creating something and at the end my kitchen looks like a complete disaster and I don't know why. That's just a. It's like I did all the work and I put all of my magic in that and then I'm done. At the end. It's just almost like it's really hard for me to button up. The last things and I think that's where a lot of my struggle lies is just the last little bit. It's like I can do about 90% and I'm so lucky that I, like I said, have such a wonderful partner where he he does the last leg of a lot of things and I think he sees the effort I put into most things all the time.

Speaker 1:

And then we got on to those piles of things you know, the things that just pile up all around and a few other great strategies yeah, and you know, like a lot of people with ADHD, I am a doom piler.

Speaker 2:

I I'm looking around my office and I have a stack of ADHD books and a stack of notes and a stack of sticky notes and and things like that, and I know a lot of people hire people to help them, but I'm almost like too much of a control freak to allow someone come in and see my mess, try to like figure out how to organize it, and so I do have to like put time in my day, like almost time block time, to go okay, organize this or do this. Another thing I really like to do is I'm not very good at the five minutes thing. I know a lot of people do like okay, just clean up, just clean up five minutes a day, and I love that for some people. But okay, just clean up, just clean up five minutes a day, and I love that for some people, but for some reason that just doesn't work for me.

Speaker 2:

I am like put aside an hour of your day on like a random Sunday and then I just like deep, clean and almost like get in the zone Like something clicks in my brain where I won't look at anything for a whole month and then just like one random day, I'm like super clean, I vacuum everything, I wipe down every surface and I really try to take advantage of those days. It seems like if I do have motivation and like creativity and understanding of like okay, this is what I need to get done, and the focus of like task initiation and then also like what makes sense, so I'm not just randomly painting my bathroom or picking out like random things that I think are fun, but I do try to take advantage of those days where I do have the energy and kind of the motivation to just deep clean and I really appreciate those days when they are here.

Speaker 1:

So it's really interesting listening back to Katie talking about this, because one of my kids who's older and has an ADHD diagnosis their room for most of the time will really look like something has exploded in there and it gets them very stressed the thought of tidying it up, but they don't want any support with it and we've we've learned to just back off and leave it, because they do have, as Katie has just described, these days where they wake up and that morning, for whatever reason, they feel like tidying their room and they do such an amazing job of it.

Speaker 1:

Everything is put away, everything's back in its place, everything's organized, clothes are folded, even KonMari style, and put back in drawers, and I really probably couldn't do it better myself, but they have to be in that frame of mind and in that mood to be able to do it. So I think it's really important, if you do live with someone with ADHD, to acknowledge that there will be some days where they just do not have the mental capacity to do it, even if they wanted to. Katie then went on to describe for me what things have been like for her as a child growing up and how she'd felt really quite shamed at times by her messiness or disorganization. So what did Katie feel were great ways to support your kids if they are struggling with an ADHD diagnosis?

Speaker 2:

And so I think that just finding the tools to support your kids and not using change tactics, because we do feel bad, we don't want to be known as messy or gross or dirty or you know like, because I don't really feel dirty or gross, I just feel like I'm just living in this world and just trying to grab onto whatever I can to just survive and I really didn't have a problem with how I was living and I don't know it is kind of it is really interesting and I don't know it is kind of it is really interesting. But you know, there are times where I really do feel really organized, especially when it, and that's that interest-based learning system that we have is that I do at times, like I said, and I hate that.

Speaker 2:

It sounds like an excuse when I say, when I'm really passionate about something, I can be really organized because normal people might go well, then that means that she could be organized if she really wanted to. But it doesn't really depend on that. It really depends on what my brain is interested or what lights that fire, because when I thought I had, well, I knew I had ADHD. But when I was suspecting I had ADHD, I was really organized about all the traits that I had and made a binder. And then, like when I think about things like my pantry and I really like the idea of my pantry looking really, really nice and I love I have all my food in these clear jars and so it forces me kind of to be organized in a way, because when I walk into my pantry I can see what I have. Everything is in these clear jars all my grains, all my rice and oatmeal and lentils, and all that stuff is is in these clear jars on my grains, on my rice and oatmeal and lentils, and all that stuff is already in these big glass jars and that's been really helpful in having that system in place and making those steps that are easier for ourselves, right, and so I buy stuff in bulk. So when I get home from the grocery store and I'm putting stuff away, I have these big bags that I just refill my jars with, and so people see my pantry and they go well, she's so organized, it looks so great. Why can't she be like that with the rest of my life? But there is something, because I do love to cook and I love food and I'm food motivated. I'm like, I'm like my cat. I think that is just like an extra piece with my art supplies is another thing is usually I'm a I'm a hot mess when it comes to my art supplies, but having some tools of organization, like the tubs and these clear tubs, like these clear drawers, has really helped. But also helped is that I really did stop using them.

Speaker 2:

Honestly, I wasn't doing a bunch of million projects because you know, and that's. I think that's one thing I struggle with. It's because I do struggle with finishing. I do always have these messes around my house because I start a project and I have to take out all this stuff but I'm not done, so I don't want to put it away because I'm not done, and so then it just becomes another thing. And then I've got projects on projects and projects and projects. And then one of those days comes through where I just it's like rage cleaning is the word I like to use. Where you're, you are, you're just throwing things in plastic bags because eventually you're like it's dead to me, I don't even care, I just want it out. And so what's unfortunate about that is I do that, and then my, my partner's going through and he's like do you really want to get rid of this? Are you sure you want to get rid of this?

Speaker 1:

I'm like, just get rid of it, and I think one thing you've just mentioned, or what you've just mentioned, is really key when you have too much of something, it's hard to keep it tidy, and this is what I'm always saying to my clients If we can just reduce the amount you have of kitchen utensils the ones you're not using let's get them out of the kitchen, because it makes it harder to put stuff away when the drawers are so full. Anyway, your pantry, by the way. There's a lovely, lovely reel. We'll tell people at the end how they can find you on Instagram, but there's a lovely reel of your pantry and it does look really great, so you should be super proud of it. It's a great job.

Speaker 2:

If only the rest of my house looked like that. Right, I am very proud of my pantry, thank you, I love it and I would encourage everyone to do. That is, if you can, you know, put things in clear containers so you can see them, because, like I said earlier, it is that out of sight, out of mind, and we never want to waste food and we never want to forget it exists, and it helps, when we're cooking too, to see all of our options to have them there to go. I know how much I have of this because a lot of people in their fridge. It's the same thing as like putting your romaine lettuce in the drawer in the crisper you might forget it's there. And so then you have all these poor bag salads that you're so ambitious and excited to eat and all of a sudden you forget they were there and they're bad, and that's you know. They're almost $4 a bag. Now you've got three or four you just wasted. It makes you feel so, so awful, and so I really try to find ways.

Speaker 2:

Um, one thing I really like is the eat first shelf. I'll have like a thing when I open up my fridge. We have two fridges, which I'm really fortunate is that because we have a lot of condiments I don't know if that's just an American thing, but we have so many condiments so we kind of have like a condiment fridge where if I really need something like ketchup or mustard, for something, I know we have it and so I can go out and to the other fridge and get it. But using those condiment shelves and putting things that I need to eat right now or that are going to go bad or that I need to see because when I open the fridge it's going to be there, that has really helped.

Speaker 1:

That's a great idea.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and so try to remember things. That another really good tip I've seen is the crisper that I was talking about. Some people put their condiments in the crisper too, and then they leave their the shelves open for the food, and I think that's that's a really, a really smart thing If you're somebody who does forget things exist or things pile up is to just make sure that you can't miss them, that they're going to be in your, in your line of sight, and to once in a while maybe check in on those things and like kind of reorganize things or toss things out and kind of like move the environment around, because when it does make those little changes, your eyes tend to see them a lot better the next thing we got around to talking about was body doubling.

Speaker 1:

Now, if you've not heard of this, you're going to find this absolutely fascinating, and this is a strategy that, for the last few months, I've been using with great success in my online membership clutter free collective. So if you're someone who, when you listen to what katie has to say about this, things that would be interesting, then check out the collective, because I think you'll find it really useful one thing is, you know, we kind of talked about that like peer pressure and peer support is so important with people with adhd and I.

Speaker 2:

You know there's this. This thing that's kind of taken taken um over social media is body doubling. Have you? Have you heard of body?

Speaker 1:

doubling I have. Do you want to explain to people about it, because I think it's amazing and I know you're doing a lot of this yeah, so so I do it.

Speaker 2:

Um, you know, a lot of us are working from home and so I think it kind of developed as this thing where, um, people do it a lot virtually, um, but the best way I can explain it is kind of like, if you have a best friend and you are about to do something kind of boring and you decide, oh, I'm just going to FaceTime them while I do this and I think that is a really good way to explain something is it's like calling up your best friend and doing a mundane task that you typically wouldn't enjoy. But their engagement and maybe they're doing a similar thing, you know, if you've got this pile of laundry that you need to fold, put on your comfort show, put on a show that you love, that you know it doesn't like you already know what's going to happen. You're not enveloped, but you can kind of listen to it, enjoy it. It makes you feel good. Call up your friend and tackle that, that pile of laundry, and just talk with them and make it a better experience. I think that has really helped. So, like body doubling is like doing something alongside somebody with you, and so it's similar to like peer support. It's kind of comforting and, at the same time, you know, when I, when I call my friend and I'm like, hey, I'm going to do this, she's like, ooh, I need to go do this, so I'll do it.

Speaker 2:

While we're talking on the phone and it makes the time go by faster, you're not really realizing you're doing it. You're either watching a show in the background or you're talking to your friend and something about that has been really helpful for me and I've heard a really a lot of good feedback on social media about it and it's probably something that you're already doing. But when you do like, when you're having a hard time and you have something that you've been really wanting to do but you haven't found the motivation, or you know that spark hasn't lit, because we do struggle with with, like, only doing things that we're interested in. We always we don't always get to choose what we're interested in, right, and so you never know. And so when there is something, some daunting tasks that really shouldn't be daunting, but it is I call up my friend. I say, hey, I got it, I'm going to fold some laundry, I'm going to match socks, and she's like sweet, great, I got to do this. And we do it together and it really helps.

Speaker 1:

So if that's something you think you could implement and that would help you, then why don't you give it a go? We actually did it in Clutter Free Collective last Sunday. We met online for an hour, in fact. This time I'd invited anyone that is on my email list or in my podcast Facebook group if they wanted to join us too, and we had people working on their kids' bedrooms. We had one person Christy from Clutterfree Collective was sorting through her jewellery and decluttering that. We had someone else join us for the first time and she was doing the books in her living room. It's just really motivating to know okay, I've got an hour, I'm going to let everyone know at the start what I'm doing. Then halfway through we check in and see how everyone's getting on and then we have like a final 30 minutes to really go for it. That focused time and knowing we're not on our own and other people are doing it at the same time is really really helpful. Okay, this is how Katie finished our interview.

Speaker 2:

Thank you, and I really appreciate all the stuff that you're doing too, because you know, there's a lot of like self-esteem that comes with being disorganized and we always have this feeling of like there's something wrong with me because this doesn't work and I can't seem to stay clean and and it's really like we just need to find the tools that work for us. And I really appreciate you finding the tools that support you and your family and and being open-minded that what works for you or works for your daughter might not work for your son or your husband or whoever, and it's like we're all so different and different tools work for us, and I love that you're preaching that, because it's so important for us to hear that, yeah, we are different and it's okay.

Speaker 1:

Well, that was really kind of Katie to say so, and that is the mission I'm on for everybody to find the way that works best for them and to feel successful. Since recording this episode, katie's life has just changed immensely. She's gone on to get married to that lovely, supportive guy she was talking about in this interview. They've had their first child, and if you go and follow Katie on Instagram, I think you will find she's got a rather exciting announcement coming. If not this week, then in the coming weeks.

Speaker 1:

I will put the handle to her Instagram in the show notes and I also, following on from our last chat, together created a special free resource for anyone who is struggling with organization and has an ADHD diagnosis. So if you would like to grab that, the link for that is in the show notes as well. I hope you found this really useful. Next time, some exciting stuff, some life-changing stuff for me. So until next time, if you've enjoyed this episode, please send the link to a friend you know would appreciate it, subscribe and leave a review. I look forward to bringing you more organizing tips next time, but if you can't wait until then, you can go to my website or find me on Instagram, at carothor or on Facebook at Caroline Organizer. Thanks for listening and I look forward to guiding you on your journey to find your clutter-free ever after.