How to declutter sentimental items without regret in 5 easy steps #110

Ever wonder how to let go of cherished items without feeling regret?

Join me, Caroline Thor, to find out how to declutter sentimental belongings. Feeling overwhelmed by emotional attachment? I totally get it. In this episode of the Living Clutter-Free Forever podcast, you'll learn five easy steps to tackle this tough task. It all starts with setting a clear intention.

Imagine the peace and joy of a clutter-free home that fits your dream lifestyle. Why do you want to declutter? Whether it’s to create more space, reduce stress, or simply simplify your life, knowing your "why" is key.

We'll go through the emotional roller coaster of decluttering sentimental items. I'll share a touching story about a client who struggled to let go of her beloved but worn-out boots. You'll learn practical tips like taking photos, writing personal letters, and talking about your feelings with others.

Find out how donating or gifting items can bring relief and celebrate your small wins along the way. Join supportive communities like the Clutter Free Collective for encouragement and to share your journey.

Ready to conquer clutter without guilt? This episode is full of sincere advice and practical tips to help you declutter without regret and enjoy a clutter-free life.

Tune in and transform how you organize sentimental items. Let’s make decluttering an empowering, stress-free experience.

Thanks for listening! For more organizational motivation, support and free resources:
Join my online membership Clutter Free Collective
Join my podcast Facebook group Living Clutter Free Forever Podcast: KonMari® Inspired Organizing | Facebook
Visit my website www.caroline-thor.com
Come and say 'hi' on Instagram @caro.thor
Follow me on Facebook @carolineorganizer

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hi there, I'm Caroline Thor, professional organiser, konmari consultant, teacher and mum of three. I started off my life as a mum feeling overwhelmed, disorganised and desperately trying to carve out some time for me amongst the nappies, chaos and clutter. One day, one small book called the Life-Changing Magic of Tidying changed everything and I began to learn strategies for making everyday life easier. Today I have the systems in place that means life can throw almost anything at me, and I want to share them with you. If you're an overwhelmed mum struggling to keep it together, then this is the podcast for you. Grab a coffee and settle in for a quick chat with someone who gets your reality. Hello and welcome to the Living Clutter-Free Forever podcast. I'm recording this on a sunny Sunday afternoon in Germany and I hope, wherever you're listening, you're having a lovely day and I continue to be completely blown away by the amount of different countries that this podcast is being listened to. I would love to hear where you're listening from, so please go to the link in the show notes that lets you know how you can get in touch with me and send me a message, but be sure, please, to include your name and, if you want to, an email address, and I will make sure that I either give you a shout out in the podcast or I send you an email back as a thank you. And if you haven't yet shared this podcast with a friend and you listen regularly and you're loving it, please do me a favor and grab the link wherever you're listening, send it to a friend and tell them you think they should give this podcast a go, that you're loving it and you think they will too. I would be so grateful. It is really hard to grow a podcast, and there are two ways of growing it and getting more people listening to it. One of those is by you recommending it to other people, and another way you can help me out is by leaving a review or a five-star rating. So please do that too, and the more people that are listening, the more people we are helping with decluttering and organizing, and that is my mission. So what can we expect from today's episode?

Speaker 1: 2:38

I am going to be talking today about five easy steps to declutter sentimental items without regret, and the without regret is the important bit, because I know how difficult it is to let go of sentimental items, and so let's start by thinking what we actually mean by a sentimental item. As you may know, if you've listened to this podcast for a while, you definitely will, because I'm banging on about it all the time there are five categories in the KonMari method. The first one is clothes, then books, then papers, then kimono, which is miscellaneous items, and finally the last category is sentimental items. And there is a really good reason why it is the last category, and that is because these are the items that it's hardest to make a decision about, and if, as we're going through the other categories, we find a sentimental item, we don't make a decision about it at that point in time. I always have a box for clients where they're putting sentimental items in as they find them, and then we can go back through sentimental items right at the very end. So these are items that really cause challenges because there is an emotional attachment to them or a fear of regret of letting them go. So it could be something from your childhood, it could be something that a loved one has gifted you, it could be something that you have inherited, it could be something like your t-shirt that you used to wear at university, with your college emblem and whatever on it, and you have an emotional or sentimental attachment to that item of clothing and find it hard to let go.

Speaker 1: 4:31

So what are the five easy steps to letting go of sentimental items without regret? So step one set your intention. Setting your intention is about defining the purpose and the goal behind your decluttering process. So it means understanding why you want to declutter and what you hope to achieve from it. And if you can be really clear about this, it helps give you direction and stay focused and motivated. So it's important because it is going to guide your decision making. It will help you make consistent decisions about what to keep and what to let go. It's going to provide you motivation because you're going to know your reasons for decluttering and that can really keep you motivated, especially when you encounter emotional challenges. And it's also important to clarify your goal because if you do that, it ensures that your decluttering aligns with your broader life goals and values. So, as I always say, we're visualizing our ideal lifestyle. So how is the decluttering and organizing of sentimental items going to help you reach this ideal lifestyle that you have? So here are a few more things that might help you with this.

Speaker 1: 5:55

You could reflect on your reasons for why you want to declutter your sentimental items. Is it because you want to create more space? Are these items perhaps stressing you, or are you just simply wanting to simplify your life and think about how decluttering these will positively impact your life and your mental well-being? I have had clients who have been, for example, hanging on to wedding photos from a marriage that has sadly broken down, and these are sentimental items and we're holding on to them. But by having albums full of photos from an event that has sadly not stood the test of time is not necessarily in all cases going to support your ideal lifestyle that you want to have now. It's a constant reminder of what has been. There is perhaps sadness attached to those photos, and so making a decision to let them go could actually have a really positive impact on your mental well-being.

Speaker 1: 7:07

You've also got to imagine what your space will look like once it's decluttered. How will it feel to be surrounded by only items that truly bring you joy and add value to your life? And those will be some of those items that you would class as sentimental items. You will be keeping some of them, but there may be others within the sentimental item category that you realize don't bring you the same amount of joy that others do and that therefore, it's okay to let them go. So you you've got to visualize, if you like, the emotional benefits, such as the sense of freedom and relief and clarity, that you will have by letting these things go.

Speaker 1: 7:54

And sometimes it's a really good idea to actually write down your intention. So, for example, you could write I want to declutter my sentimental items to create a peaceful and organized home that reflects my current life and values. And having written it down, it then serves as a constant reminder and a guiding principle throughout the whole process. You could even share that intention with a friend or a family member, because sharing can reinforce your commitment and provide a bit of external support for you. And some of my clients have even developed a really simple mantra or affirmation that sort of sums up their intention. So, for example, I'm letting go to make space for joy and growth, and if you keep repeating that to yourself when you're feeling overwhelmed or unsure, then it's really going to support you in the decluttering process. This is why, as part of step one, I think it's so important to set clear intentions, because they will help you to stay motivated and focused.

Speaker 1: 9:03

Okay, step two go through the items thoughtfully. So I've already said that you will have collected them together as you go through the other categories in your home and then you can sit down with them, either on your own, or perhaps you could do it with someone else. If you're lucky enough to have a KonMari consultant with you, fantastic. If not, you could rope in a friend if you feel you need a little bit of emotional support because these items are difficult for you. And then you're going to take each one out and hold it in your hand and just see how it really makes you feel. Do you feel joy when you hold it? Does it make you happy, does it bring back amazing memories? And then think about whether you really need to let go of this item or whether it's something you want to keep in your life because it sparks so much joy. So I would like to give you a few examples from clients of mine. I've already mentioned the wedding photos, which is one.

Speaker 1: 10:07

I also have clients who have perhaps found letters. I'm thinking of one instance where letters were found from a previous relationship, but actually from the mother of the person they had been in a relationship with and and they'd had a really good relationship with this lady and there was almost like a bit of guilt about letting go of those letters because she was feeling disloyal by considering even letting them go. But holding on to them was also a constant reminder. She realised of this previous relationship that had really not ended well at all. There was no longer any contact between her and this lady, so she decided that letting them go was actually going to be better for her mental health than knowing they were sitting there in a box as a constant reminder of a relationship that had gone really sour. So you need to be so, you need to be thinking about what it is about this item that makes it so important for you to keep.

Speaker 1: 11:43

I have a couple of items that I was given had passed and I have kept two items of hers from a time when I was really happy she had gifted them to me. I knew that it was important for her, for me to have them and although they're not items that I would ever choose to wear so one is a scarf and the other is a bracelet I have held on to them because when I look at them they remind me of her so much and of that happy time, and I can just see her handing them over to me on the days that she gave them to me, and so for me, keeping them provides only joy. I don't have any negative emotions attached to them at all, and I chose to keep them, not because I would feel guilty to let them go, because I know she wouldn't want me holding on to things for the sake of holding on to them just out of a feeling of guilt, but because they genuinely do make me happy and they improve my life then being there. Another thing I've held on to is my teddy bear from when I was a child, and he is very, very, very well loved and in fact, one ear is pretty much worn off where I always hugged him on that side against my body when I was little, and I chose to keep him because of the fact that I have an emotional attachment to him. It is a connection with my childhood and I just don't want to give him up.

Speaker 1: 13:25

There were other things. There were other toys that I had from my childhood that I didn't think twice about letting go. For example, I had a doll and I used to play with her, and I loved playing with her when I was little, but I would never get her out now and play with her, and I loved playing with her when I was little, but I would never get her out now and play with her, so it didn't serve my life purpose now to keep that doll. I don't ever get my teddy out and cuddle him either, and I don't have him on display anywhere, but there is something comforting for me knowing that I have him, and I have also really enjoyed sharing him with my own children, because they've each had their own special cuddly toy and it's been really nice to say look, this is what mummy used to cuddle when she was your age, and I've enjoyed having that, and maybe one day I will be able to share it with grandchildren as well, and that brings me a lot of joy to know that there is a connection from my childhood that will follow through into other generations. So that is what I mean by sorting through items thoughtfully.

Speaker 1: 14:41

What is your reason for deciding to keep it and let it go? And this is moving on then to the next step, which I call keep the best, let go of the rest. And I've just sort of been explaining that really, in that I've kept what I see as the best of the things and I let go of the others because I can't. Well, I could keep everything. There has to be a cut-off point for me, certainly, where I say this item is more important than perhaps that item and therefore it's easier for me to let go of some things than others.

Speaker 1: 15:31

It can be really freeing to let items go, especially when your reason for hanging on to them is because of guilt towards other people. Maybe someone gifted you that thing or maybe you inherited it but you don't love it, it doesn't spark joy for you, or maybe you have negative memories associated with it. I know when my grandparents had both passed, there were a few items from their home that my siblings and my cousins and I had very, very fond memories of. We remembered being little kids and seeing these particular ornaments in their home and physically picking them up and moving them around and touching them, and there was a very strong connection for us with these items and we didn't want those to just be got rid of. When the house was let go, and the contents of the house. We wanted those items to be kept and cherished because we had such positive memories associated with them. So that's what I mean by keep the best, those things that you have really positive emotions associated with happy times.

Speaker 1: 16:55

Um, if you've got something like a t-shirt from college and it no longer fits you and you know you will never wear it again, but just getting it out and looking at it makes you feel amazing, then great, keep it if it supports your ideal lifestyle. But maybe you have got your. You've got a photo of yourself wearing that particular t-shirt and that is enough of a memory and you don't actually need to keep the physical thing. So it's always worth thinking these things through and really trying to work out what is the most important thing for you, because what you don't want is that when you let stuff go further down the line, you're going to regret it. Now, the next step is one way of avoiding this regret, and that is perhaps taking photos of items to preserve the memories before you let them go, and you can then create digital albums or scrapbooks for those items that you would class as sentimental items, so that you still have a record of them, but you don't physically have that item anymore, and I think that's actually a really sensible idea.

Speaker 1: 18:19

I have one client and she had an amazing collection of boots really lovely boots, but they were so worn and, as we were looking through and she was making decisions, the stories she could tell me about the times she had worn these boots to different events and concerts and holidays, and there was a lot of sentimental attachment to these boots. But she also recognized that, one, they no longer fitted her and two, she therefore was never, ever going to wear them again and they were taking up a lot of space in a home where space was at an absolute premium. So she took photos of all of them before she let them go, and so she can always look at the photos and remember those times and those emotions that those boots brought back. It's really fun talking through with clients about the stories that are associated with different items and it's an absolute privilege for me to be able to share those stories and be part of hearing those memories. I really appreciate when clients do that with me.

Speaker 1: 19:36

So finally, the last step, step number five, would be to find new homes for items. So there are a lot of emotional benefits to donating or gifting items that you have decided you no longer want to keep because, yes, it may no longer serve a purpose in your life, but someone else will be super appreciative of it, and it means that you're not just dumping stuff. You're actually thinking who might like to have this. You can perhaps put it in a Facebook group or something like eBay, so that you know a specific person is getting that item. You may even get to meet them if they come to the house to collect it, and that's really nice to see where things are actually going. Or you can donate them to a second-hand shop where you know people are going to be coming in regularly every week and that someone is bound to pick up that item and buy it and take it home with them. So finding new homes for these items, I think, is really important, more so than it is for items that we don't have an emotional attachment to, because it's important for us to know that they are going to be valued by somebody else and cherished by somebody else. Let's just have a think for a minute about the emotions that we are going to feel when we are looking through these sentimental items.

Speaker 1: 21:17

My first thing that I would highly recommend is for you to acknowledge your feelings and recognize that it's completely normal to feel a range of emotions when you're decluttering sentimental items. These items, as I've already said, are very often tied to significant memories or people and they can evoke feelings of guilt or sadness, or even a fear of forgetting sadness or even a fear of forgetting. So try and understand where your emotions are coming from and try to work out. Is it the fear of forgetting a loved one if you don't have that item, or guilt over letting go of a gift, and if you allow yourself to experience the emotions rather than suppressing them, you will actually find the whole process an awful lot easier. Now, I know that sounds like a bit strange, but you know why would letting all these emotions come out make it easier? But it will do in the long term, because by decluttering, we are letting go sometimes of things from our past that we need to, and it's okay to feel sad or nostalgic. These feelings are part of the process. So one thing you can do if you're having these feelings is talk it out. Maybe talk to a friend or a family member or, if you have a therapist, talk to them about your feelings about these particular items and whether you're feeling sad or guilt, because verbalising emotions actually can make them more manageable.

Speaker 1: 23:13

Some people like to write a letter to the person or the memory associated with the item, and this can help process the emotions and provide a sense of closure. And you don't have to send the letter and obviously you're not going to send a letter to an item, and it may be that the person that's giving you the item is no longer there but just the act of writing it down can be really, really helpful, and I would also encourage you to focus on the joy and the positive memories that the item brought into your life, the item bought into your life. Letting go of the physical object does not mean you are going to be losing the memory, and then I would also encourage you to celebrate the small wins and to be proud of yourself when you manage to let go of something that you know is not serving you. But it's a really difficult thing to do. Recognising these achievements that you take and make helps build momentum and it makes it easier to continue with your decluttering process, with your decluttering process, so you might want to share with a friend or a family member or within a community that you've managed to let go of this item and how you're feeling and that actually it's a bit of a celebration for you that you've taken this step.

Speaker 1: 24:44

I certainly see that happening all the time in my online membership clutter free collective. People are always celebrating their wins in there, and it's just amazing to see the progress that people are making. You maybe could treat yourself to a small reward after you've completed a decluttering session especially if it's been really really emotionally tough so you could have a relaxing bath or do a fun activity or take yourself out for a walk, do something that you love, and don't forget the positive affirmations that I mentioned earlier in this episode. Phrases like I'm creating a space that brings me joy, and and you can say this to yourself as you put an item into a donation box or perhaps after you've dropped it off at a donation place and as you walk out, you can say to yourself I'm creating a space that brings me joy, and that can be very, very empowering. If you know that you really struggle with sentimental items and that you need some support with that aspect of your decluttering, then you would really benefit from joining Clutter Free Collective. We are there to support each other through the difficulties that we all face with decluttering, and it's amazing to have a community that you can bounce ideas off and get feedback from and help you celebrate. So if you're interested in joining us, go to welcome you into our community.

Speaker 1: 26:33

So today we have been talking about the five easy steps to help you declutter your emotionally difficult items, your sentimental items. So the steps are first to set your intention and then to think about sorting through the items thoughtfully, then keep the best, let go of the rest. You maybe could preserve memories digitally and finally find new homes for your items. I know this is an area of decluttering that so many of you struggle with and if that's you, I hope this has gone a little way towards helping you.

Speaker 1: 27:26

I am going to be putting some really good reels out this coming week on Instagram, where I'm going to be sharing my tips for decluttering sentimental items, and I'm going to be sharing some of my sentimental items on there as well. So if you would like to follow me on Instagram, I'm at carothor Come and have a look and you'll be able to see everything in action. Next time, I am going to be talking about the five common clutter mistakes and how to avoid them. So if you think that sounds like something, don't forget to follow so that you will automatically get that episode next week. Until next time, if you've enjoyed this episode, please send the link to a friend you know would appreciate it, subscribe and leave a review. I look forward to bringing you more organising tips next time, but if you can't wait until then, you can go to my website or find me on Instagram, at carothor, or on Facebook, at Caroline Organizer. Thanks for listening and I look forward to guiding you on your journey to find your clutter-free ever after.